Deconstruct the BS You Tell Yourself
Today I will share the four-part framework (dream — reality — promise — consequence) that would guide you to design your own career.
Start with the Big Picture
Even though the workshop is titled “Design Your Career,” the complete design cannot be done without having a holistic view of your life: the ten pillars of your life.
I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the truth is: If you sell out in any one area, your happiness will take a huge hit. Since it is quite stressful to tackle all ten areas at once, I recommend you choose up to 3 areas and go really deep into each of them.
👉🏻 I am currently improving my relationship with body, love, and time.
If you can’t make up your mind, choose the area with the strongest resistance.Resistance is an SOS that needs immediate attention. Usually, our unconscious self will lead us to avoid pain and prolong suffering. Yet, if we take on our resistance, we can expand our awareness and move forward with our life’s agenda. Though this process may still be painful, we are no longer dominated by the pain.
For each area of your choice, write down your 1-year dream.
Write Your 1-Year Career Dream
Think of this dream as the address you enter into the GPS. Your only goal is to be clear about what you want (we’ll work on why you want it soon). While you are writing your career dream, let go of being obsessed with the who, when, how.
Here are some dream writing best practices:
- Do use present tense, juicy words, and challenges. Be specific, honest, and kind to yourself. You want to have a dream that is realistic yet exciting!
- Don’t be negative, extreme, or unrealistic. Otherwise, your subconscious will automatically deny the dream.
Here is my 1-year career dream:
Why Are You Not There Yet?
Now that you have the dream, ask yourself why you are not there yet. It may take a while to deconstruct the excuses and get down to the truths. Here are some of the excuses I had for not starting my startup in 2019:
Perhaps you can relate to one or all of them. However, they are all stories I made up myself. Once you realize that you are the common denominator of all your problems, you can start to tell yourself a different narrative. Once you know that you can change your current circumstances, life gets a lot more interesting.
Detect Your BS
As Lauren Zander describes in Inner U, everyone has their chicken, baby, and weather reporter in mind. Since these voices are not going away soon, you have to listen to these voices and talk yourself out of them.
- Chicken is driven by fear. They want to make sure you have an exit route, so they will keep asking you “what ifs” until there is no risk at all. The key to counter the chicken is the core confidence mindset: know that no matter what happens, you will be okay.
- Baby is driven by entitlement. They think “I deserve everything.”
- Reporter is driven by a powerless identity. They simply report your life and take you out of the equation.
Altogether, these voices make your dream slip away. The good news is that your awareness of these voices gives you the power to call them out and disregard their terrible advice.
Here’s another good tip to detect your excuses: Do the money test.
Simply ask yourself: If someone gave you $10M, would you be able to exercise / go to bed at 10PM / quit sugar?
Make A Promise & Consequence
Now that you have your dream and internal dialogue figured out, let’s get to the promise and consequence:
Now make a measurable promise and a meaningful consequence to forward your dream. Share them with someone who will hold you accountable.
Bottom Line: If you can live in alignment with your goal, you will immediately feel better and get closer to your dream.